Thursday, January 07, 2010

boy seeks genuine fun

About “vacuous dailiness” (near the end of “free association”): Realize, please, that I wasn’t positing some equivalence between dailiness and vacuousness! I had in mind the pro forma chat or phony pretense of rapport that expresses, among other things, a common anxiety about the other’s presence. People so habitually miss chances to just be serenely silent together—or even to say something one’s listener remembers for a while; something thoughtful? something thoughtfully funny? I know a persiflager who’s brilliant at this (when she feels like it). In an affectionate sense, I want to strangle people who are habitually dismissive or who talk as if it’s really about their presence.

There’s so much genuineness in our days (but it has to be noticed) or available to us in our days—play and wit—so much craziness, in the best sense. On the other hand, being real means not always having to have some piece of sharp comment available. Real people don’t have to prove they have rapport with you (as if to keep you at a distance by feigning closeness).

For me, good dailiness is so easily not vacuous. There’s that “ecstatic quotidian” I came back to and which returns for me easily.

See, it wasn’t lovely simplicity I had in mind by mentioning “vacuous dailiness.” Another’s having little time to give doesn’t, by itself, make the time one does give tiring. No way!

The simplest interactions can be joys, and make the morning. Simple acts of graciousness and generosity can easily feel fun—and fun, you know, keeps the world turning.

Friday, 1/8 — 6:56 am

But I recognize that labored writing about genuine spontaneity gets self-undermining.

So, hey, I do prattle—easily, happily. “I.M. living, all the way, I say.”